金星毒舌搞笑語錄

　　金星，中國著名現(xiàn)代舞蹈家，上海金星現(xiàn)代舞蹈團團長兼藝術(shù)總監(jiān)。本文將介紹金星毒舌搞笑語錄。

　　金星毒舌搞笑語錄(1)

　　1.大多數(shù)人不見得理解真正的“性感”是什么。 “性感”被這個社會的“有色眼鏡”貼了張標簽：前凸后翹，領(lǐng)口往下走。男權(quán)社會里的“性感”說到底，不過是以“性”釋詞，來滿足男人對“性”的遐想。 濫夸女人“性感”表面是一種溢美，無形間不過是哄著你連同你的“性感”一起消費了一把。好笑的是，越來越多的女人還拼命擠進那個“S”中樂意被消費。

　　2.人不犯我，我不犯人，人若犯我，禮讓三分，人若再犯，斬草除根。

　　3.真誠面對自己的人生。當命運碰到需要抉擇時，要聆聽的不是別人的聲音，而是自己內(nèi)心深處最真誠的聲音。

　　4.人要貴,衣服再貴沒有用.

　　5.最美好的不是未來，是今天。

　　6.性感是讓男人追著屁股跑的，不是放在桌面上的，放在桌面上的.不是性感，是豬肉。

　　7.生活是最好的編劇，脆弱的歌聲在溫馨的畫面前顯得是多么的蒼白無力。

　　8.也會有人追尋成熟的男人。只是成熟不代表他的經(jīng)濟基礎(chǔ)成熟，而是指責任。成熟的男人一定要負責任。對女人、對社會、對自己做的事要負責，無論是對是錯，都要承擔。成功了就光明磊落大聲宣布，是自己的過錯就直面擔當，好的壞的我都敢扛。哪怕是扛著一堆麻煩，一堆誤會，但只要扛起來，時間就會告訴你你擔當著什么。我欣賞為自己錯誤買單的男人。

　　9.提醒一點，最好不要找正處在事業(yè)巔峰期的男人。他可能是你想要的那種成功男性，但你不一定會是他真正需要的女人。每個男人的精力、能力和荷爾蒙都有高潮和 低潮，當他沒有達到高潮時，他需要女人承載他幫助他;當他到達高潮時，就會肆無忌憚、無所顧忌;當他從高潮降落時，他才會清醒地知道自己需要什么樣的女 人。聰明的女人要學會在什么時候接觸什么樣的男人。在男人忘乎所以的時候就離他遠一點，那時候的他不真實。

　　金星毒舌搞笑語錄(2)

　　等我女兒長大了，我會告訴她!如果一個男人心疼你擠公交，埋怨你不按時吃飯，一直提醒你少喝酒傷身體，陰雨天囑咐你下班回家注意安全，生病時發(fā)搞笑短信哄你……請不要理他!然后跟那個可以開車送你、生病陪你、吃飯帶你、下班接你的人在一起……嘴上說的再好不如干一件實事!我們都已經(jīng)過了耳聽愛情的年紀。

　　When my daughter grows up, I will tell her this: If a man says he feels bad because you commute in a crowded bus, complains that you don’t have meals regularly, keeps reminding you that drinking too much is bad for health, tells you to be careful on your way home on a rainy day, sends funny messages to you when you are sick in bed...Just ignore him! Stay with the man who drives you to work, accompanies you when you are sick, takes you to dinner, picks you up after work...A thousand sweet words are nothing against a real thing. We all have passed the age that takes words for love.

　　人要貴，衣服再貴沒有用。

　　Expensive clothes are useless if the person wearing them is not noble.

　　女人，該給你的都會給你，還沒給你的，等著。等待是一門學問。

　　Woman, everything meant for you will come to you. If they have not come, just wait. Waiting is a skill that is learned.

　　像咱們靠譜一點的端午節(jié)中秋節(jié)是好的，西方節(jié)日你那么激動干什么，你看現(xiàn)在什么都是節(jié)日了，煩不煩啊?什么父親節(jié)，母親節(jié)，光棍節(jié)，平安夜，真是瞎折騰，孝敬你媽還分日子的啊?

　　Some festivals in our country, such as Dragon Boat Festival and Mid-Autumn Festival are good enough. Why are you so excited about western festivals? It is tiresome to have so many festivals—Father’s Day, Mother’s Day, Singles’ Day, Silent Night...which are indeed a waste of time and energy, who needs a special date to give presents to his/her mother?

　　一個女人，物質(zhì)上不依賴你，精神上不依賴你，那么請問你，要你干什么?對女人不要要求太高了。又美又會做飯的，那是美的電飯煲。又可愛又永遠不會老的，那是櫻桃小丸子。又經(jīng)濟獨立又以你為中心的，那是你媽。又美又可愛又會做飯又永遠不會老又經(jīng)濟獨立又以你為中心的，那是你媽正用著美的電飯煲給你煮櫻桃小丸子。

　　If a woman does not depend on you for material or emotional support, then why does she have you? Don’t be too demanding on women. Who can be beautiful and good at cooking? Midea electric cooker. Who can be cute and never grow old? Chibi Maruko. Who is economically independent and put you first? Your mum. And who is both beautiful and cute, good at cooking and never grow old, economically independent and put you first? It’s your mum using Midea electric cooker to stew Chibi Maruko for you.

　　人不犯我，我不犯人，人若犯我，禮讓三分，人若再犯，趕盡殺絕。

　　I will never attack others if they leave me alone. If other people attack me, I will respond with politeness. If they attack me again, I will chase them to the end of the world.

　　30歲的女人穿衣服不必重款式，要重視面料，30歲的女人要是沒有男人愛，那么一定要找面料好的衣服來庇護自己。

　　A 30-something woman should care less about the style but care more about the fabric when she buys clothes. If a 30-something woman has no man to love her, at least she has clothes of good fabric to protect her.

　　高貴的女人看她的鞋。精致的女人看她的指甲。性感的女人看她的香水。氣質(zhì)的女人看她的手表。拜金的女人看她的包包。感性的女人看她的文章。賢惠的女人看她的拿手菜。浪漫的女人看她的睡衣。小資的女人看她的化妝包……我看完發(fā)現(xiàn)我好像不是女人!趕緊掏出身份證一看，性別：女。心里才踏實了些。太不容易了，一樣沒占，活的還挺帶勁的!

　　Judging a noble woman by her shoes, an exquisite woman by her nails, a sexy woman by her perfume, an elegant woman by her watch, a money-worshipping woman by her bag, an emotional woman by her writings, a virtuous woman by her specialty dish, a romantic woman by her pajamas, a woman with petty bourgeoisie sentiments by her makeup bag…Upon reading this it suddenly dawns on me that I may not be a woman! I take out my identity card and it comforts me to see the gender is “woman”. It’s so rare for me to be a woman who is none of those and still live a great life!

　　欲望迅速膨脹，自我的內(nèi)核卻越來越弱。我看得太多，很多所謂的名女人都是“國際物流”，背后就拖著幾大箱集裝箱，里面什么都沒有，就是“裝”著。她們被抬得很高，可是經(jīng)不起晃。我只想踏踏實實地走，對真實的堅持會成為我的保護傘。

　　As the desire swells rapidly, the inner self is weaker and weaker. I have seen too many famous women who are “international logistics” essentially. They are towed with a number of big containers, which are all empty but they pretend they are not. They are carried so high but cannot stand a little shaking. As for me, I want to walk on real ground, and protect myself by sticking to reality.

　　以前韓劇三寶車禍癌癥治不好，現(xiàn)在是長腿歐巴愛洗澡。

　　The magic weapons of Korean TV series in the past are car crashes and cancer which is incurable, nowadays the magic weapons are handsome young man with long legs who enjoy bathing.

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